9 Months ~ An Update
Everyday when I wake up, I kiss Logan's chubby cheek and I either sneak out of bed to get ready for work solo OR we get out of bed together and I get ready for work while he clings to my leg. You would think I'd prefer to get myself together in peace but I know these days of changing a dirty diaper while only in my bra and undies, brushing my teeth with one hand and holding him back from falling in the bathtub with the other and scrambling to get out of the house on time is short lived. The morning routine, the drop off to daycare, the missing him all day and the nighttime routine are such precious moments in time but I know they can be taken for granted. When I just can't figure out what to wear while he's screaming for the boob or he's ripping the cabinet door off in the kitchen while I'm preparing his bottles for the day, more often than not I find myself spiraling just a bit and let things get all too overwhelming. But I will tell you that those moments of spiraling and feeling overwhelmed are also short lived because when I pretend answer his red toy phone and it's for him you bet your ass all the chaos of motherhood is pushed aside.
Logan is a little over 9 months old and he's my biggest fan. I've talked a lot about my love for him and how's he's changed my life in the most magical way. But the love OF a child...it's the greatest feeling I've had the privilege to experience. He's getting to a point where he truly knows me and Chris. I feel like we have little conversations just by staring at one another and he's finding ways to tell me certain things. When he's feeling upset or wants to play or is sleepy...not only can I sense it because I'm his mother but he knows I can sense it. We have an unspoken relationship, obviously because he can't talk, but it's comforting for me to understand his needs through his behavior and it's comforting for him to know I can read him perfectly. We are currently going through the "I can't let him see me leave the room" phase so I'm doing a lot of sneaking-out-like-a-ninja stuff both at home and at day care. While it's challenging to see him get emotional and sad by my absence, my very selfish side loves to be loved this much by him. He gets over it quickly though so I'm not a total monster.
He's also learned how to walk and while it absolutely breaks my heart that he's growing up so super fast, it is the cutest thing on earth to watch. His thighs are all rolly polly so he spreads his legs wide and puts his hands in the air for balance...what a genius move! And if he catches me looking at him while he's prancing around, he ends up running towards me and falling into my arms for a great big hug. Figuring out how to hug me back was done all on his own and when his chubby little arms try to wrap themselves around me super tight, that is when I remember the precious moments. That's when I'll take tantrums in the car seat and the interrupted sleep and leaky breasts and general messiness basically all over the place. It's the baby hugs and smiles he saves just for me.
With each passing day my baby gets a little bit older but it also unlocks a part of his personality that I just want to eat up. A personality that is so infectious and makes you wonder how life existed before him. At 9 months old I can tell you that Logan loves to walk everywhere, he hates peas and green beans, he loves Greek Yogurt, especially blueberry and pear flavor, he loves tickles along his neck and behind his ears, he doesn't like to sleep through the night because that's so cliche, he loves boobies and everything about them, he loves feeding himself organic Superfood Puffs and kale/cheddar cheesedoodles, he used to rock hard to the Parks and Rec theme song but now he's into The Office theme song, and above all he LOVES his mama and dada --- he can't say it yet but he's totally thinking about it :)